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Is It Still Forgiving, If You Refuse To Forget?

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I’m the kind of person that doesn’t like to hold grudges against people. I feel like it takes more energy to be angry and ignore someone, than it does to just forgive and move the hell on with life. With that being said, I often times ask myself……is it still forgiving if you refuse to forget?….

I think the answer to this question can go both ways.

Yea, in order to truly forgive someone, you have to let go of the some the hurt that the individual has inflicted on you, even if that means forgetting that the event happened altogether. If you feel that a friendship or relationship is worth, this shouldn’t be much of a big deal, because in letting go, you’re making room for love and for healing. And you wouldn’t want a past wrong or injustice to be a detriment to present times, if it doesn’t have to be.

Now, on the flip side, when you decide to forgive someone AND forget a past wrong, you set yourself up to be wronged again. I feel like, when you refuse to forget, you arm yourself with the proper artillery to combat the issue should it arise again. You won’t be caught completely off guard and can therefore properly address the situation. The saying, “fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me”, holds true in this situation. If you forgive and forget after the first incident, u make yourself more susceptible to being duped again.

I don’t know. I guess you pick and choose the battles you want to fight. Different situations call for forgiving and forgetting, while others call for forgiving but remembering.

photo credit: duncan via photopin cc

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1 Comment

  1. 09/14/2009 / 8:16 AM

    I am a true forgiver but I don’t have the ability to forget.