Online Love

Online Dating Horror Story #1

As I mentioned previously, I dibble and dabble in online dating. Like real life dating, I can’t say that I’ve had very much success. But what I do gain from these experiences, are awesome stories, stories that I will be sharing on this blog. Brace yourselves for some Grade A Foolishness!

First Online Date

I met this guy, Plaid. We decided to meet up downtown at a bar. He lives in the area. So I drove down there and met him in front of his apartment (definitely didn’t go inside…STRANGER-DANGER!). He directed me to park my car in this parking structure that he “[knew] so well”. After I parked, we headed to the bar, had a few drinks and headed back to my car after the night was over.

Sounds like the story should be ending, right?! Nope! If I learned anything from Cinema, it’s that…it’s never over!

Enter Foolishness *stage left*

We made it back to my car around 11:30pm. He proceeded to walk towards the exit and I revved up my car *vroom vroom*. As I made my way towards the exit, I ran into Plaid walking towards me. He had a strange look of bewilderment on his face. I asked :

Me : “What happened?”.
Plaid : “Uhm…the garage is closed.”
Me : “Excuse me?”
Plaid : “They’re closed and the gates are locked.”

Is that right life?!

So, there I was. Locked in a parking garage. With a stranger. Just the two of us.
We were able to locate a number for the parking garage and thankfully, someone answered. And what did the representative have to say?

Parking Garage Rep : “No one’s available to open the gate at this time. But you can give us a call in the morning.”

Really??!!?! You want me to stay the night in some strange parking garage?!?!? Right. We ended up calling 911, and they said :

911 Operator : “Can you please leave this line open for emergencies?”
Me : “What part of ‘I’m locked in a parking garage’, is NOT an emergency?!”
911 Operator : Feel free to call the fire department.”
Me : -_-

So we called the fire department. A few minutes later, the fire truck showed up (alarms blazing) at the garage. I asked Plaid to go speak with them at the gate while I waited in the car. He didn’t want to go!!!!! I literally had to push him out. After speaking with the firefighters, he returned with the following info :

Firefighter : “We can’t help you. This is a private lot so we can’t cut the lock. But, you guys do know that there is a small gate right here for you to walk out of, right?”

Screw you firefighters! I’m not leaving my car in a damn parking garage over night! Plaid also suggested that I leave my car behind and spend the night at his apartment.

Ha….Ha…and more Ha!
I would have rather fallen asleep on a street corner with a street urchin!

The Big “Escape”

After some time passed and I realized that we were not going to get out of there WITH my car. I decided to leave the parking garage, with him *grudgingly*. We walked outside the gate. And RIGHT NEXT DOOR, there was another parking garage, with a petite man sitting in one of the booths. I said to Plaid :

Me : “Oooooooooooh, let’s ask him if he can help us!!!”
Plaid : “I don’t think he can.”
Me : “Really? Are your spider senses telling you this? I’m going to go ask him.”
You can stay here and search for your balls that are obviously missing. (<–said this last sentence in my head. Because, OMG he was a wimp!)

To wrap this story up, I asked the petite man if he could help me get my car out of the garage next door. He goes :

Parking Garage Attendant : “Yea. I have the key. We own that one too.”
Me: -__- “Of course you do.”

He opens the gate for us. I drop Plaid off and ride off into the sunrise…never to see him again! Sorry, but you just can’t rebound from such a tragic first date.

And THAT was the date that broke my online dating virginity. I definitely want my cherry back! But unfortunately, in this game, you win some and you lose some!

Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles – FreeDigitalPhotos

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  • frankiedman
    03/22/2013 at 7:38 PM

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  • Ada-Daddy (@Stef_O_Nay)
    11/03/2013 at 11:31 PM

    ugh! at him not being a man and being able to take hold of the situation like he should
    “You can stay here and search for your balls that are obviously missing.”
    I cant stop laughing at that statement