Dating

Jesus is on Tour With Kanye West

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This past weekend I went to a gospel show with my guy friend Fisher. I decided to get fancy for the spiritual celebration. However, I wasn’t doing it for the Lord, (Sorry Jesus. I have to keep it real), I was doing it for Fisher! I wanted him to sing my praises in seven different languages when he saw me.

What Actually Happened

Fisher called me once he arrived outside of my house. I took my precious time before heading out. *You have to build anticipation!*

I walked to his car with my hair blowing in the wind (but with 50 pounds of hair in my head, it was probably as still as an oil painting). After I realized that he was parked 500 miles away and couldn’t see the show that I was putting on, I scurried along. When I arrived at his car and sat inside, I was greeted by the sweet serenade of . . .

*crickets*.

He said absolutely nothing about the way I looked. Fuchsia lipstick….nothing. Curly hair …nothing. Knee high boots (for goodness sake!)…nothing. I figured he was in so much awe and wonderment, that he could not find the words to say. I soon directed his attention to the jewelry that I made, because you can’t be too proud to fish for compliments. Anywho, I showed him the set of mini handcuffs (don’t ask me why I have them) that I converted into a double finger ring.

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When he saw the ring he said : “You’re wearing handcuffs to a spiritual event?”. I said, “Yes! Good thing Jesus is away on tour with Kanye West at the moment. Hopefully Mary and Joseph are there too.”

The nerve!
Apparently I missed one of the commandments : Thou shall not wear hand cuff rings in the presence of the Lord.ย 

What a waste…of life and of lipstick.

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