Dating

How to Cope with a Breakup

Yesterday, at 2:30pm, my boyfriend broke up with me. In his words, he “couldn’t handle the long distance anymore.”

Oh.

When it happened, I went through the normal post-breakup emotions. I first played tough like I wasn’t bothered by the news. “I’m better without him anyway”, right? Then it all hit me and I broke down for a few minutes. I called him back so that he could explain “what happened”, even though it really didn’t matter at that point. I then shared the news with a few of my friends and got the typical “Oh no, I’m so sorry Onye.” Yea, yea, yea.

I spent the rest of the day trying to keep my mind occupied with other thoughts like, Why can’t unicorns be real? and Where’s a double rainbow when ya need one? I fell asleep with the promise to myself that I would not let this breakup consume me or break me down.

Today, almost an entire day later, I woke up feeling….fine. Naturally, I have urges to pick up the phone and contact the man that’s been one of my best friends for the past few months. However, I understand my reality. That man, as I’ve come to know him, is dead to me. We no longer exist. Fortunately for me, I’ve been through a REALLY bad breakup before. Twice actually. As such, I’m at a point where my pain has plateaued and I just feel numb.

I’ll miss him. However, I will move on. Here’s how:

Stay Away

He and I were in a long distance relationship, so that helps with the breakup. For those of you who don’t have the luxury of 3,000 miles between you and your ex, it’ll be a bit harder. You’ll have to take extra steps to ensure that you remain as far away as possible from your ex. Avoid them like the plague. There is no greater truth than the saying, “out of sight, out of mind.” As soon as I got off the phone and realized that I’d be a single cat lady for the rest of my life, I deleted my ex from everything. EVERYTHING! Some may call it childish, but that’s how I cope. We’re not lovers. We can’t be friends (although this was suggested *blank stare*). We’re nothing. As such, I took steps to ensure that I don’t have to see or hear from him again.

Stay Busy

The worst thing you can do after a breakup is sit in your room, listening to Sam Smith songs and feeling sorry for yourself. Get up, get out and do something productive. Find something to fill the void that’s been created by your ex-lover’s departure. For me, that’s writing and photography. For you, it could be hanging with friends, running, painting, dancing to Beyonce songs! It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re doing something to keep your mind busy and to better yourself at the same time. Yesterday, I went to the MAC store and bought a crap load of makeup and today, I’m going to take my behind for a nice run. I don’t have time to sulk. And plus, I’m too cute for that *twirls*.

Stay Sane

Do not call and text him/her like a crazy person. Just let go. I know this is easier said than done and it’s harder when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. However, acting like a psycho does not make matters better. Yes, I’m speaking from experience. I once drove on the wrong side of the road trying to catch up to the man who had broken my heart. Thankfully, Baby Jesus and Allstate were on my side. But that’s neither here nor there! Just don’t go crazy! Leave his/her possessions alone, don’t try to bring in family members. Just. Let. Go.

Stay smiling

Sometimes you just have to fake it until you make it. Tell yourself that you’re happy. Smile, laugh, go out and have some fun with your family and friends. There’s no point in sitting around sulking. The only things it will bring back are bags under your eyes, but not your ex! Trust me I know. I currently have designer bags under my eyes! However, I’m still smiling!

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I’ll be fine and so will you :)

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