What do you do when you find yourself in love with a cheater?
You have three options when dealing with a cheating lover :
1. Forgive, forget and stay
2. Retaliate, remember and leave
3. Forgive, forget and move on
That’s pretty much it. Often times, people get into trouble because they attempt to have a little bit of all the options.
No!
Option 1 : Forgive, Forget and Stay
There’s nothing wrong with staying with a cheating lover. Some people can handle that kind of relationship. However, if you decide to stay, you must forgive AND forget. There’s no point in staying if you plan on holding your lover’s past indiscretions over his/her head. The negativity begins to eat away at the relationship just as much as the initial act of cheating did. Eventually, they’ll begin to resent you. . .which could potentially lead them to find solace in the arms of another. And the vicious circle would continue.
Option 2 : Retaliate, Remember and Leave
I think the most instinctive response to a cheater is to hit them where it hurts (sometimes literally). We may key their car, call their mom a b*tch (because we’ve been holding that one in!), slap the baloney out of them and go out with guns blazing, Queen Latifah style.
I’m not an advocate of this option, but sometimes people get pushed to their limits and act accordingly. Now, if you pick this option, you should be ready to pack your belongings and go! Because (1) your grandiose display of crazy was a clear indication that it’s over, (2) They’ve probably called the cops on you, so it’s best to get moving . . . quickly. You can’t act a plum fool and then stay . . . or decide to forgive and forget. Because while you’re forgiving and forgetting, they’re remembering and revenging.
Option 3 : Forgive, Forget and Move On
This may be the most copacetic option. Sometimes you just have to forgive, forget and move on to greener pastures. Completely and entirely. No tire-slashing. No nagging. No trying to make it work. Just leave. Trust is ridiculously hard to rebuild. And most times, it’s not worth the effort/time to try and reconstruct.
There you have it. Three different ways to deal with a cheating lover. There is a fourth option, but I don’t think any of you would be too fond of sitting in prison next to Sonia Arias and Scott Peterson. So we’ll leave it here 🙂 .
Image courtesy of Ambro, Free Digital Photos