My friend suggested that I try out online dating. My experience, in short, was the biggest disaster of my LIFE!
The Screening Process
I screened every man as best I could, trying not to pass up anyone that met the minimum criteria : possession of a pulse. I, of course, didn’t initiate conversation with anyone. Instead, I waited for my knight in shining armor to sweep me off my feet (boy was I delusional).
Cut To The Chase
One day, I received a message from this guy. I honestly cannot remember what he looked like (Yes, I’ve worked that hard at erasing all traces of him from my memory). His message read, “Blah blah blah…I like to work out… blah blah blah…my mother is a midwife blah blah blah, do you want to meet up?” The only thing that intrigued me about him was that his mother was in the same profession as me. This made me feel somewhat comfortable about meeting up with him. Don’t worry. I Googled that boy…and his mama! (oh please, I know I am not the only one who’s done it). I learned some pretty interesting things…about his mother. Him? Not so much! Hint number 1 that he was a dud!
Anyway, we both agreed to meet at the mall. This way I could dodge him and/or be distracted by shopping if the “meet up” was a flop! When I arrived in front of our meeting location, I saw a man walking around aimlessly, sort of like a stray dog looking for food. I thought to myself, “No no no, that cannot be him!” I walked slowly past him (avoiding eye contact), contemplated leaving, but decided to give him a call. As luck would have it, he WAS the aimless dog. UGH. Unfortunately for him, I had already checked-out before I could even check-in.
First Impression
He looked nothing like his online pictures! Everything about his appearance, and yes I know it’s shallow, irritated me. His tight wide-legged pants (how is that even possible?), his white smedium shirt (which hovered above his waist) and his platform Nikes just killed me. How was I to appear interested when every thought that I had was focused on me leaving?!?! I told him I needed to grab some things from the mall and invited him to drag behind me like Linus’ security blanket (from Charlie Brown)…he eagerly accepted. Go figure!
Nothing about this man intrigued me, not even his pulse! Our outing lasted every bit of 40 minutes (felt like eons) and as I prepared to leave, he begged for us to hang out again. Eww. Absolutely not! There are so many things that I cannot and do not wish to understand about this guy. Only thing I regret is not getting his mother’s contact information. I’m in need of a job!
Moral of the story: you tell me..
Author : Roschelle Boyd