Don’t Ask For My Number If You’ve No Plans Of Using It!

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The other night, I met this guy (Shorty Doowhop) and we went out to eat. After speaking with him for a few minutes, I learned that we had a lot in common. 

1. We were both Nigerian.
2. Our parents attend the same church.
3. We were both slightly inebriated.

Before the end of the night, HE asked ME if we could exchange numbers. I agreed to it. Now, somehow . . . someway, on my drive home,  my phone was stolen right off of me. I won’t lie, there’s a story behind this thievery. However, it’s too ridiculous to leave my fingertips!

Luckily he gave me his business card that night. I sent him an email and he happily resent his phone number. From there, we exchanged a couple of text messages. And by ‘a couple’, I LITERALLY mean A COUPLE! Two, dos, abụọ (for my Igbo speakers). That’s it!

He then fell straight off the face of the earth into the depths of nowheresville! Huh?! What could I possibly have said in those TWO text messages that would have turned him away? Did I not use an appropriate emoji?! Is he married?! The perplexity has no end!

On top of all this madness, Shorty Doowhop had the audacity to be short. He’s not but 5 feet and two inches of foolishness. He should be thanking baby Jesus for this long-legged goodness that came his way!


I’m not disappointed. I mean, I’m not going to chase after a little person. I just don’t understand why he asked for my number if he had no intention of using it. Why waste my time!?

The nerrrrrrrrrrrve of some people!

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