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Can You Send Me A Picture?

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“Can you send me a picture?”

This has to be one of the most annoying questions that a guy can ask a girl (followed closely by “Can I come over to sip some tea and watch The Note Book with you?” #lies). Fellas, let me tell you why this question annoys me and most girls :

  • When a guy asks for a picture, it oftentimes means that he wants to see something suggestive or a supermodel-esque selfie (Yes, I’m generalizing! So sue me!). Let me set the record straight! No self-respecting girl is going to drop her Vicky Secrets for you. And unless you got Beyonce or Adriana Lima’s phone number, don’t expect a flawless picture to magically appear in your inbox.
  • Sending a picture, at the drop of a dime, entails : rolling out of bed, removing the crust from one’s eyes, and trying (in vain) to look presentable. No one has time for that. You’re more than likely going to get that one picture, that I took this one time, at band camp, when the sun was out and all the stars aligned perfectly and illuminated my face just right. Yea, I was about twelve. But that’s my go-to picture.
  • If a girl were to ask a guy to send her a picture, you know what she’d get?

PENIS!

PENIS!

PENIS!

photo credit: Pablo Lancaster-Jones Photo via photopin cc